Bite by Bite

I want to do everything.  I want to know everyone.  I want to fix every problem, and be prepared for every future problem.

I want to eat this whole damn elephant, and I will… but I’ll have to do it bite by bite.

Yeah. I’m looking at you.

So, to keep organized, I will be assigning each “To Do” item to its own post.

Then, I’ll decide what types of goal it qualifies as:

• ACHIEVEMENT GOAL: This is a goal to build character by requiring the developing of a skill, the implementation of patience, or the presence of courage.
• SELF-DISCOVERY GOAL: I’m still figuring out who I am, apparently.
• END GENTLY GOAL: They say how you walk out of one door is how you walk into the next.  I want to lay my old life gently down, give it a soft kiss, and then walk away.
• START UP GOAL: We have to get started sometime, ready or not.
• UMBRELLA GOAL: This is one of those goals that requires a dozen minor to-do items in order to complete.
• SIMPLE GOAL: This is for the easy things. Buy a coffee machine.
• MILESTONE GOAL: A goal that needs achievement by one of my stated milestones. I’ll assign everything due dates, but these goals really require it.
• COMPLETED GOAL: Gah, I’d love to move all the goals to this category one day.

Am I missing types of goals? I’d rather have too many than not enough.

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No elephants will be harmed in the development of this blog.

Goal: Green Thumb.

I need to get a plant.

Something easy, for the love of goodness.

I’m not Martha Stewart, or Crocodile Dundee, or Genghis Khan…. or whichever of those is known for plants.

Also, something small, study, and indoors, because I’m currently a hobo.

Then, I will grow this plant. I will teach it how to thrive!

Or, I will just not kill it. And I’d call that a win.

Problems:

• I know near to nothing about plants.
• I kill an awful lot of plants and don’t know how or why.  I grew cilantro for a short while when I was in my teens. Maybe that’ll work again?

Goal: Photo Albums.

I need to find three distinct forever-keepable photo albums.  The sort that can hold lots and lots of photos.

1. The first will be an ode to my time with Dave.
2. The second will be all the visuals that kept me strong in grace through my tribulations (both literal and metaphoric)
3. And the third will be filled with all my baby steps forward,

Love, faith, hope.

Problems:

• I’ve never bought a photo album.
• I want something I can keep a long time.  Nothing cheap or novelty. Even though I love cheap and novelty things.
• I have no pictures printed.
• I want all three to look matched, so I don’t get twitchy, but distinctly different so that I can tell them apart at a glance.

Due date: January 1, 2016

Don’t panic. I can fix this.

I’m really more of a builder than a visionary. I would always tell people that my husband and I were a great match because he dreamed it up, and I made it happen.

But then he died.
While I was in prison.

It’s a long story, but the short version is I love you. And I love me.
And that’s pretty much all I know about who I am.

I’m starting over.
There’s a lot of stuff that needs fixing, and a lot of things that need doing, and a lot of dreams that need envisioning. I’m going to do my best, but in my-normal-builder style, I need a place to stay organized.

It makes me feel like I’m doing something, and holding myself accountable for those somethings…
at least I till I get in the habit of dreaming.

You know me— or, at least I think you do– how else would you have found this place? Now I’m feeling suspicious.

Where was I going with this?

Oh yes.
Where am I going?
That’s the question, and this is the place where I’ll be answering it.

Feel free to look around, offer up ideas, provide solutions, judge, laugh with me, cry at me, and on. You’re welcome here because that’s how I rawr.

Just like how I’m writing this page so I can stall on putting up any actual posts, which — by the way — will come in floods, so you probably don’t want to follow. Those posts could be various forms of content — maybe just a song, or a quote– since I’m literally imagining this to be a corkboard awkwardly shaped like a blog. Plus, there’ll be swear words and possibly thoughts on sex and relationships.

So maybe you don’t want to look at all.

Or maybe just check in every once in awhile.
Or maybe you do want to follow…

Shoot, I don’t even know how I feel about socks. I’m not really in a place to be bossing you around.

I don’t even know how I feel about being bossy.
It seems like something I’d like.
Not as much as I like you, though, so no worries there.

In fact, no worries in general, yeah?
Don’t panic.

I can fix this, and then everything’s gonna be okay.

Fact.